Hot Flash Mania!

I am a raving lunatic
Get the bleep away from me,
I’m having quite the hissy fit
Don’t make me count to three.

I’m vacuuming the house right now
I’m cleaning every stitch,
The sweat is beading off my brow
Here comes that Inner Bitch.

It’s bad enough I have to clean
But really must I Flash,
I’m so effin hot right now
What’s ok to smash?

My neck is sore, my arm is tired
I think I’m gonna cry,
Oh hurry and be done already
Why did I even try.

bette

That is it, I am done!
I’ve put it all away,
I’ll sit down now and regroup some
Oh, I might even play.

I’m cooling back to normal
My temper’s flaring down,
Actually I’m chilly
Why’s my sweater on the ground?

Was I really oh so angry?
Absurdly out of control?
And why is everyone hiding,
Hey, where did you all go?

I’m better now, it’s me again
Please don’t be afraid,
Come on now, step back in
I’ve put away the blade!

Β πŸ˜‰

(c) onceuponahotflash, 2016

61 thoughts on “Hot Flash Mania!

  1. Hahahahahahahahahaha!! This is so funny and so cute!! The picture is precious! Oh my gosh, Deb, hilarious!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Reblogged this on BEAUTIFUL WORDS and commented:
    (Menopausal) Hot Flash Mania! Hahahahaha!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You said it just right! Been there, done that…thank goodness it’s over! Fun poem for stressful time. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! I don’t know if I’ll make it til it’s over…well I’ll make…don’t know about the others…HA! πŸ˜‰ Thanks for stopping by!!

      Like

  4. Not looking forward to it, but at least I’ll have an excuse for my craziness.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. This is cute! And hilarious.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. My mother does, too, and yes, you’re right. I had to get the bleep away from her, baby girl. And I know you are usually a grateful and happy lady, but that hot flash was out of this world. I’m glad you’re okay. Great poem. You are truly a wonderful blogger.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Aww you’re so sweet! Thank you…it’s so crazy what hormones can do…it’s like PMS on steroids! I have them daily, that’s why I have to remind myself to be grateful!! I really love all that you bring with your blog too…you keep it real and I love that!! xo πŸ™‚ Something for you to look forward to, all you can do is laugh at yourself or you’ll go insane!!

      Like

    • True that! And yeah, my hormones are nuts, too. I’m 27, and I feel like I am Godzilla. I work in health care, and it doesn’t help when my hormones go insane. Women understand while men cower in fear. And you’re always grateful. That’s why I follow you. You inspire me to think, ya know, this all isn’t so bad after all. My blog is trolly at best. I’ve given up on the whole “writing well” thing. I’m not inspired enough for all of that anymore. I just post Donald Trump quotations for the rest of humanity: https://xaranahara.wordpress.com/2016/02/28/three-day-quotation-challenge-day-2-my-nick-name-in-2012-was-donald-trump/

      In other news, I was walking my client’s dog today before the end of my shift. We were outside for a good five to ten minutes. Not five seconds after HER ASS was in the house, she bolts for the sunroom after looking at the client with her British ass and PEES on the carpet in there. I laughed, went insane, ranted, and then told my client that I was over my fiancΓ© and his messy ass, the office workers that don’t respond to any of my E-mails or half of my phone calls, and Atlanta traffic. That dog opened up a can of worms by not peeing where she was supposed to. I love her, and her name is Georgia.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Do you think Georgia was looking for a reaction out of you? πŸ˜‰
      How old is she? I love dogs!!

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    • She was, and my reaction was fucked up. And she is… two years old now. Terrible twos. My client is taking her to obedience school because he is too old and too tired for her bullshit.

      Liked by 1 person

    • And pee… πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Yup, that’s me cleaning (and I don’t even need a hot flash to set off my temper :-)).

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I’m always sort of mortified after a hissy fit — it seemed so justified at the time!!! Oh well. Live and learn and blow up again the next day haha

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Oh, how I remember those days, and I was thrown into menopause very early by a hysterectomy. My condolences. πŸ˜‰

    I love the picture you used of Bette Davis. She was a truly great actress and should have won an Oscar (she was nominated) for “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?”, the source of this picture.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh wow, it’s bad enough we have to go thru it but to start early…
      Yes Bette should have won an Oscar and during my rages I do get Bette Davis eyes!! πŸ˜‰
      Thanks for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh dear it sounds horrid and like a hot mess yet I chuckle πŸ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh my god, you’re hilarious! Not quite there yet, but approaching with trepidation! πŸ’›

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hahahaha that’s brilliant! I’m glad you’ve put the knife away πŸ˜‰ (sounds like me when it’s my time of the month) lol I love that every time I visit your site is a different colour! Always so fresh and inviting xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve put it away for the moment….πŸ˜‰
      So happy to hear from you!!
      Thank you, I thought I’d gi with a more Spring/ Summer look, it’s fun to change it up!!
      Hope you are settling in nicely…wishing you a brilliant day!! xo

      Liked by 1 person

    • I love the Spring summer look! We leave for Melbourne in just over a week so getting prepared to move again – excited and nervous all at the same time πŸ™Š have a smashing day! xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! Oh wow it’s March already isn’t it…boy I bet you’re looking forward to finally settling down!! No walkabouts for you when you get there…you’ve been on enough!! I saw Crocodile Dundee…did you ever see that movie? If not, it’s a must!!
      You could write a book about all your travels…hey work it into your children’s books…you’re probably already planning on doing that, but in case you hadn’t thought of it…;-)
      It’s like 1:00 in the afternoon right now for you isn’t it…well almost? It’s 6:45 pm here on Thursday..I know it’s Friday there…so Happy Friday!! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    • Aww happy Friday to you too wonderful lady! It’s just turning 1pm in the afternoon now here in New Zealand – children’s books is where I’d like to refocus my attention some time soon! And yes – maybe I can incorporate some of my travels πŸ˜‰ thank you for the inspiration! xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Have you had to work at all while in New Zealand or are you waiting til you get to Melbourne? If you’ve had this time off how wonderful for you!! xo

      Liked by 1 person

    • I’m. It allowed to work in NZ because I’m here on a visitor visa – it has been wonderful having time to explore nature – think I could get used to this haha although I’m sure it will be comforting to have some funds rolling in again xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ahhhh I would love it too!! And I know I could easily get used to it. I’m trying to figure out a way to stay home and still have money show up at my door everyday…if you figure out a way let me know and if I figure one out I’ll let you know! xo

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh rubbish – just saw that my phone didn’t quite translate what I’d wanted it to which was ‘I’m not’ allowed to work πŸ™ˆ DOH! Haha and I will certainly let you know if I figure out a way to earn money through something I love that allows me to walk, sketch, paint, write and create till my little hearts content hehe xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ya I noticed that and figured it was your phone, happens to me all the time..sometimes the word it comes up with that I’m trying to say is not even close but it’s hysterically funny.
      Wouldn’t that be a wonderful life…I’m sure we can figure something out…we’re two really smart gals let’s put our heads together on this..I know…we can meditate on it!! πŸ˜‰ xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    • Haha oh a know – I told my sister I was going to see my arse worker instead of my case worker the other week! πŸ™ˆ silly phone – and yes! I’m sure we can meditate on a genius idea hehe πŸ™‚ xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my gosh, that’s so funny, I’m laughing out loud!! So how’s your arse? Hope it’s okay…hee hee
      I’ve been telling my subconscious at night before I go to sleep to figure it out…so I’m sure we’ll find the answer! xo

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha my ass is great thank you lol that made me laugh πŸ˜‚ I’m sure we will be living in simple abundance if we follow the breadcrumbs of creative insight xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hmmm I like that quote, you may see that on my daily post one day, if that’s ok with you ?
      xo. Wishing you an abundant day!! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hehe you quote me if you wish 😊 wishing you and equally abundant day! I’m off to the body mind and spirit festival today! xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh wow! I would love that…please tell me how it was!! Namaste!!! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    • It was wonderful! I came home with 5 new crystals hehe oops! xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • I bought a pink Himalayan salt crystal lamp and two pink himalayan salt crystal candle holders yesterday, plus two books about chakras. The crystals are to remove negative energy and put positive energy into the air, I’m bringing the lamp into my office. It’s 7″ tall..very heavy and wicked cool. I almost bought a book about crystals…what ones did you get?

      Liked by 1 person

    • My boyfriend’s mum has a Himalayan salt crystal lamp too! It’s beautiful… I bought a blue citrine, a green flourite, a black obsidian, a black tourmaline, a tigers eye, an amethyst and a rose quarts πŸ™‚ most of these are for grounding, dispelling negative energy and healing as well as a host of others benefits – I hold whichever one I feel I need to at the time! xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh wow!! I want to learn more about crystals and get more, that’s my summer project…we have a store next town over called Inspired Crystals…they have so many. Enjoy!! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    • A good book is ‘The Crystal Bible’ – has all of the different crystals and their properties and how they can be used! xx

      Liked by 1 person

    • I had that very book in my hand…whoa!! Ok now that I have your recommendation I will go back and get it!! Thanks…xo

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha great minds 😜 xx

      Liked by 1 person

  13. lol this made me smile the biggest smile. Deb, can I share this with friends on my FB page?

    Liked by 2 people

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