Since I decided to write a blog and start Our Daily Grateful Post, I have been listening, on YouTube, to all sorts of inspirational videos. I have listened to Louise Hay, Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer, Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, Napoleon Hill, and the list goes on. Each talking about how to be successful in life, live your dream, how you attract what you think, be positive and so on.
I often hear the question ‘What is your passion’? I have given it a lot of thought and I don’t think I have anything that I am passionate about. I like my blog, I like to write posts, poems and songs, I like to organize things, but am I passionate about any of them, I don’t think so.
So of course now I’m worried. Uh-oh, I don’t have anything I’m passionate about. How do I know what I should be doing with my life if I’m not passionate about something? What is my goal? Well in all honesty, my goal is to stay home. I love my home, I have just moved here a little less than two years ago and I absolutely love living here. I was living on a very busy street, sirens, trucks, motorcycles, cars, dogs barking…you name it and there was a constant sound of something. Not to mention my house was broken into three times. Now I live on a very safe, quiet, dead-end street and all I hear are birds, it’s fabulous!
Not long after my move here my job changed drastically. My assistant retired, her replacement, a wonderful person, has had numerous health issues and has only worked half of the time required, which has been a nightmare for me. We also took on some new business which ended becoming my responsibility. It’s been a year and a half since my job became awful! I hate going to work everyday and with loving my home so much, it makes it even harder to leave each morning.
I have become one big ball of anxiety, day in and day out. I’ve been trying to start each day in a positive way, ‘something wonderful is going to happen today‘, ‘today’s going to be a great day’, ‘thank you God for your blessings and favors today’ but not long after I arrive at my desk I’m overwhelmed and in tears. I have to do something. I’ve been looking online for jobs, but what do I want to do? Do I want to continue in the same field I’ve been in for 35 years or do I want to find out what my passion is so I can do that and LOVE going to work each day? Hence my journey to figure out just what my passion is!
After reading that definition, I wonder if maybe I love my job after all! 😉
In all honesty, my passion is to stay home. I’m tired, I want to rest, I need time off, time to renew and rejuvenate. Perhaps a year off would be helpful, then maybe I could join the workforce again and enjoy it once more. Doing what though? That thought permeates my mind. What do I do? I cannot afford to take a year off, so as wonderful as that sounds, it won’t happen. If I do leave my current job they would need at least a 6 months notice, since I’m the wearer of all hats and it’s a small business, two weeks would just not be sufficient.
I have been playing the lottery on a more regular basis, since I see that as my only way out.
Back to my original thought…I don’t seem to have anything that I am really passionate about and I find myself asking…is that okay? Have I listened to too many self-help books, uplifting stories, go live your dream, be successful, make a plan? Have I been so uplifted and inspired that it has depressed me because I’m not living up to my (their) expectations? I truly think so.
I shall continue to ponder this and figure out my next steps. I’ll keep you posted.
In the meantime, please, tell me…are you passionate about something? If so, are you doing what you are passionate about?
(c) onceuponahotflash, 2016